Part 8: Bonus! Stuff I missed! Killing EVERYTHING

Hello everyone, and welcome to the bonus update for King's Quest II. This isn't necessarily going to be very long, but it should cover some of the things that I missed. I won't claim all, because some stuff requires playing through the game and not doing certain things.

Also, I'm going to break the storytelling convention I've been using for the past two games for this update, as it's not part of the main story proper. So expect to see a lot of second person pronouns being thrown around.

I asked you all what interactions you wanted to see me try. So here's a list of what I went through the game doing...

Buy solutions with treasure
Kiss everybody
Kill everybody
Swim in the neon ocean
Try to give Valanice treasure



So let's start with Hagatha's cave. I believe I mentioned it at the time, but she randomly will be in here when you enter. First off...

>push hagatha in cauldron
>kill hagatha

: The old hag is stronger than she looks. You shouldn't try it.

You get the same response for trying either option. So there's no solving this the King's Quest I way.

>kiss hagatha

: Smack, hug, woopie!, yuck, barf, gag.

I have no idea. I guess Hagatha liked it?



Moving on, let's get Graham added to some government watch lists.

>kill girl

: That would be incredibly nasty!

>kiss girl

: You don't need to be kissing little girls.

I feel dirty having tried that.



Right next to where Little Red Riding Hood appears is Grandma and the Wolf.

>kill grandma

: You are supposed to be the good guy. Good guys don't kill kindly little old grandmas.

>kiss grandma

: Watch it! Whatever she has might be catching.



With the villainous characters, there's a bit of a trend going with the kill and kiss commands.

>kill wolf

: You can't do that -- at least not now!

>kiss wolf

: Not right now!

The trend being that neither works. The Big Bad Wolf is alone in there being no programmed response to either.

Anyway, from here on most characters don't have a specific reaction to Graham taking Love Potion #9. So I'll just omit kiss reactions unless it's funny.



It took me a surprisingly long time to find the dwarf. I had to wander around for several minutes with the command typed before he showed up.

>kill dwarf

: The dwarf is too fast on his feet. You could never catch him.



If you get caught by the dwarf, this is what pops up. So let's go get our treasure back.





: He has caught you and thrown you out! Instantly, you find yourself outside the treehouse.



Skipping ahead...

>look in chest

: You look inside and notice... earrings, necklace.

Apparently when the dwarf collided with us earlier, he stole the diamond and sapphire necklace.



Next we find ourselves in the mission. This is one of the more infamous reactions in the game.

>kill monk

: Anyone who would kill a man of the cloth doesn't deserve to play this game. Therefore, we will end it.



Yep. The game will straight up kill you for trying to murder the monk. The remake turns this on its ear by making the monk evil... and a werewolf.



Moving on again, we stumbled across the enchanter.



: Poooooof! The evil enchanter has turned you into a cute little froggy. Ribbit, ribbit!

In the first game, the enchanter just stunned you for like 20 seconds. While you were stunned, the game could decide to fuck you over by randomly spawning something else to actually kill you.

Speaking of which...

>kill enchanter

: The evil enchanter is magic! There is nothing you can do!

Also...

>open door

: The antique store is closed. You cannot enter it.

This game makes heavy use of plot flags. The mermaid doesn't show up until you've read the first door inscription. The antique shop doesn't unlock until you've read the second door. Finally, the ghoul on the poisonous lake doesn't appear until you read the last inscription.

So let's fast forward a bit...



>kiss mermaid

: Don't get too close! You might frighten her.

>kill mermaid

: Wrong move! You frightened the poor mermaid. She dives into the water and disappears.

You just have to leave the screen and return to make her reappear. So let's give her a treasure instead of Little Red Riding Hood's flowers...

>give necklace to mermaid

: The mermaid gladly takes you treasure. In return, she summons forth from the sea a magic seahorse! Maybe you could ride it.



>kill neptune

: Hurting King Neptune would not be a wise thing to do. If he doesn't get you, then his fish will.



Skipping ahead some more... Let's buy that lamp. If you remember, she wanted either her nightingale back, or two priceless diamond and sapphire studded treasures.

>give brooch to lady

: The little old lady gladly takes your offered treasure.
: That is one treasure. I need one more for the oil lamp.

>give earrings to lady

: The little old lady takes the second treasure. She motions for you to take the old oil lmap, which you do.
: May it bring you good luck!
: She then hustles you out the door.

Oh, and...

>kill lady

: A good chap like you doesn't do things like that.



Sorry if this is a tad disjointed. There's really no easy way to connect these disparate parts of the game. Anyway...

>kiss snake

: SSSsssssss! SSssstay away or I will ssssssstrike!

>kill snake

I showed this off in the main run, but for the sake of completion...

: Brandishing the sharp sword, you quickly slash the viper into ribbons.



>kill horse

: Why would you want to kill a beautiful horse like that?



Jumping ahead even more...

>kill ghoul

: You can't kill something that is already dead.



>talk to ghost

: When you speak to the ghosts, they utter a mournful wail.

>kill ghost

: Don't you know that spooks are already dead?



Someone in the thread wanted me to try and kill Dracula without the mallet or stake, and I realized super late in the game that you can't drop either. I'm also unwilling to play through 75% of the game again, while missing two items just for some failure dialogue. So apologies (not really) for not showing that off.

Otherwise, there's nothing funny to do with Dracula. Though there is a reaction if you're wearing the silver cross and he wakes up.

: Count Dracula is awake! Run before it's too late!
: You are caught in Dracula's grasp! Saliva drips off the end of his sharp fangs.
: Suddenly, he is aware of the silver cross you are wearing around your neck!
: Count Dracula is terrified of the cross. He turns into a bat and flies away.

Note that by doing this, he leaves and takes the silver key with him. So you can't get maximum points.



So here we are in the final part of the game.



The sea is 100% instantly lethal. So no exploring here!



The penultimate screen...

>kiss lion

: That would be a wrong move!

>kill lion

: With one mighty heave of your sword, you fatally wound the large lion. He slumps to the floor.



>give brooch to girl

: You can't do that.

Sadly there's no way to give Valanice any of the treasure we've collected along the way.

So how do we end this update and King's Quest II as a whole?

>kill girl

: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GOURD???? I thought you wanted to win this game! Don't ever try something like that again!
: That's it. I quit. I'm out. I'm done. Hey, do you want a job?
: Yes. I will take over your narration duties.

See you guys for King's Quest III, starting Monday.